Celebrating a party without alcohol and with self-confidence
'Break up your courage', is a well-known expression. A rule that many people 'enthusiastically' observe when they are at a party or event where they feel uncomfortable. Because those few drinks will loosen you up, make a fun joke faster and you may even dare to approach someone you don't know. How do you ensure that you radiate as much self-confidence without alcohol as you do with alcohol?
That networking get-together you 'have to' go to alone, the neighbour's wedding anniversary, your cousin's bachelorette party: some social events can make you feel uncomfortable. For example, you worry about the fact that you don't know 'no one', that you can be quite shy or that you are just not feeling well at the moment and are therefore not a nice conversation partner. Alcohol can provide you with the right amount of confidence during such an awkward party. At least that's what you think. But is that really so?
False self confidence
You may already feel it coming: no, that is not the case. What drinking alcohol during such social engagements does is numb the feeling of insecurity, making it seem like you're very sure of yourself. But the opposite effect is achieved. You can go from 'funny' to hurtful, 'mobile' becomes rude and 'sing along' becomes yelling. The alcohol is responsible for this false self-confidence and makes you do or say things that make you ashamed the next day.
Now that you're on your alcohol break, you probably have a party or event planned this month. There might even be one that you're a bit apprehensive about. How do you ensure that you are relaxed and with sufficient self-confidence act of presence gives? Read our tips and take advantage of them.
Tip 1: Get in the mood
Before you go where you have uncertain thoughts about, do what gives you strength. Maybe that's a run for you, taking a long bath with your favorite bath oil, sweeping the garden, letting the dog run in the woods, breathing exercises or listening to your favorite podcast: it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you feel like it. feels good.
Tip 2: Name your feelings
You have all kinds of –negative- thoughts and feelings about the social event. Name these for yourself. What do you look up to? What are you worried about? Link here the emotions you feel. This way you become more aware of what you feel.
Tip 3: Name your qualities
No one is as hard on you as you are yourself. Yes, you may have big ears, don't drive a BMW or your relationship has just ended: for one negative point you can put at least five positive points if you do your best. Look at what you have achieved, how hard you work, how kind you are to your environment and how proud you can be of yourself that you say 'no' to alcohol for 30 days.
Tip 4: Embrace the awkwardness
Do you think you're the only one who feels a little 'out of place' feels like at certain parties? Guess more then. Feeling uncomfortable at a party is a normal feeling and many others share this feeling. An average party always needs some time to get going. Everyone is scanning. Take a good look around at such a party, then you will notice more discomfort. And then you will also see that many want to drink away their discomfort.
Tip 5: Patience
If we could snap away discomfort, uncertainty, and fear with our fingers, we would have done it long ago. Feeling uncomfortable at a party because you're taking a break and not drinking is part of it. And the next party too, and maybe the next… Accept that this feeling is part of it. You get better at it every time. Real!
What trick do you pull out of the closet to deal with discomfort and insecurity? How do you take care of itbefore you, during your break period, confidently at a party?
Let us know in a comment!