After the break

I hear myself say: “Yeah, nice! Then I'll come and stay with you for the night and we'll have a nice glass of wine together." Shit why am I saying that?!

All sorts of things immediately pop into my head. That has to be after March 28, otherwise it won't be fun either. It's more fun with a glass of wine. Yes, but, says the little voice in my head, you also promised yourself that you wanted to persevere even longer and maybe you didn't want to drink alcohol at all. But do I still have those nice 'saggy evenings' where you laugh and have fun with open mind?

And how do those evenings usually end? With a lot of headache and regret the day after. Why did I drink so much, what did I actually say… Oh no, did I say that too…

I try to get the moments for me how I right don't want to be. And how do I want to deal with alcohol after this one I pass-period of time? Am I going to have another glass of wine or should I leave it at that. One thing I'm sure of, I'm not going to drink as much as before. A glass of wine is certainly possible, but if I notice that it is getting too much again, I stop completely.


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