say no

It seems easier than it is to say 'no'. In many social situations it can be complicated to say "no" because you have a lot of thoughts in your head before saying no. Will they get angry? I can't just turn down an offered drink, can I? I don't want to be known in the group. Maybe they think I'm boring? Maybe they think I'm a whiner? Maybe they get irritated? All fears that pop up in your head and make the 'no' extra loaded. When someone offers you something, it's a nice and welcoming gesture that you should never decline. So the challenge is not to reject the gesture, but the drink. You do this by immediately proposing an alternative. When you do this, the giver will never be empty-handed and you show that you want to drink something from him or her. In the situation that your beer or wine is offered, it is actually a fixed schedule that you can go through:
1. Clearly but kindly say No
2. Give a reason
3. Offer an alternative
For example, it might look like this: No, thank you. I participate in IkPas and do not drink alcohol for 40 days. But I'd like to drink a tonic.
There is also a step 4. That is in case the giver wants to persuade you with an occasional argument (You are not cozy, aaaaaah one, no one is watching). In these cases, step 4: go right back to step 1. Continue to say no in a clear and friendly tone.
In almost all cases, this is a way that works very well, does not lead to crooked faces or loss of face and ensures that you have a nice evening. Good luck.



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