Being cozy without alcohol and not succumbing to peer pressure

Normally you are relaxed at a party with a well-filled glass of alcohol in hand. You soon feel a little more relaxed, talk to (un)known people, make a joke and maybe even dare a dance. During your break period, in which you do not drink a drop for 40 days, you also have a glass in your hand, but then filled with something non-alcoholic. You have to get yourself into a position without the help of alcohol.

You also have to be able to withstand the pressure to say 'yes' to a glass of alcohol. You can read here how you can be just as cozy without alcohol and resist peer pressure.

Being cozy without alcohol

That network drink you 'have to go to' alone, the neighbour's twenty-five year wedding, your cousin's bachelor party: some social events can make you feel uncomfortable. For example, you worry about the fact that you don't know 'no one', that you can be quite shy or that you are just not feeling well at the moment and are therefore not a nice conversation partner. Alcohol can help to open up during such an awkward party. At least that's what you think. But is that really so?

False self confidence

You may already feel it coming: no, that is not the case. What drinking alcohol during such social engagements does is numb the feeling of insecurity, making it seem like you're very sure of yourself. But the opposite effect is achieved. You can go from 'funny' to hurtful, 'mobile' becomes rude and 'sing along' becomes yelling. The alcohol is responsible for this false self-confidence and makes you do or say things that make you ashamed the next day.

Now that you're on your alcohol break, you probably have a party or event planned in the coming weeks. There might even be one that you're a bit apprehensive about. How do you ensure that you are relaxed and with sufficient self-confidence act of presence gives? Read our tips and take advantage of them.

Tip 1: Get in the mood

Before you go where you have insecure thoughts about, do what gives you strength. Maybe that's a run for you, take an extensive bath with your favorite bath oil, sweep the garden, let the dog run in the woods, listen to your favorite podcast: it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you enjoy it feels.

Tip 2: Name your feelings

You have all kinds of –negative- thoughts and feelings about the social event. Name these for yourself. What do you look up to? What are you worried about? Link here the emotions you feel. This way you become more aware of what you feel.

Tip 3: Name your qualities

No one is as hard on you as you are yourself. Yes, you may have big ears, don't drive a BMW or your relationship has just ended: for one negative point you can put at least five positive points if you do your best. Look at what you have achieved, how hard you work, how kind you are to your environment and how proud you can be of yourself that you say 'no' to alcohol for 40 days.

Tip 4: Embrace the awkwardness

Do you think you're the only one who feels a little 'out of place' feels like at certain parties? Guess one more time then. Feeling uncomfortable at a party is a normal feeling and many others share this feeling. An average party always needs some time to get going. Everyone is scanning. Take a good look around at such a party, then you will notice more discomfort. And then you will also see that many want to drink away their discomfort.

Tip 5: Patience

If we could snap away discomfort, uncertainty, and fear with our fingers, we would have done it long ago. Feeling uncomfortable at a party because you're taking a break and not drinking is part of it. And the next party too, and maybe the next… Accept that this feeling is part of it. You get better at it every time. Real!

Dealing with peer pressure: this is how you say no

Saying no is sometimes easier said than done. When people keep bombarding you with words like: 'boring', 'don't be stupid', 'oh, how unsociable' and emphasize that it is so nice when you have a drink with them, then you must be in a good house to join your ' no' to stay. How do you ensure that you do not succumb to that peer pressure? Read our tips here!

  1. Think in advance what you are going to drink as an alternative, so that you can avoid that moment of doubt in advance.
  2. Prepare your 'rebuttal' somewhat so that you are on the moment supreme not be tongue-tied.
  3. Confide in someone from 'the group' and ask him or her to support you when you indicate that you do not drink alcohol.
  4. If possible, indicate before the meeting that you do not drink alcohol. Saves a lot of 'discussions'.
  5. Remember you are strong and no one can tell you what to do or not to do!

 

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Background

Boekentip: Alcohol Alarm!

Eerst was er de podcast ‘Alcohol Alarm!‘ en nu is daar dan ook het boek. Bekende Vlaming Evi Heyndrickx, podcaster, spreker, entert(r)ainer en mentor, vertelde eerder in podcastvorm al openhartig…
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