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Previous Challenges and SMART (=Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound) Goals.

My first alcohol break lasted no less than four years. To be honest, this period was more born out of necessity than I consciously did it for my health. Everyone now knows that it is not good for your child to drink alcohol during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Fortunately, during this period I was well aware of the responsibility for the health of someone other than myself.

However, I wonder whether many people are aware of the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption, for both men and women before or during the sexual act, for the human being in the making. I was shocked by the consequences that were recently stated in an IkPas article, because I can well imagine that a lot of babies are made after a fun party or carnival when alcoholic beverages are not taken seriously. And how many women would forget the contraceptive pill after a night out? If you consider that 80% of our population drink alcohol, how much damage would that cause to the unborn babies? I have taught special education (learning and behavioral problems) for years, so it would be plausible that fewer students would end up in this education if prospective parents were aware of their alcohol behavior. I believe that more attention should be paid to this.

Well, two pregnancies (=1.5 years) plus 2x breastfeeding period (0.5 years) makes 2 years and the other two years were so busy with two small children, broken nights, housekeeping and a full-time job that you forgot about it to drink even a glass. It was busy, busy and busy again. Once we were on winter sports, the children are 4 and 6 years old respectively, so quite manageable, when I, half frozen (yes, winter sports are really not always fun!) entered the hotel in the afternoon. Unsolicited, the waiter put a glass of light red wine in front of me 'to warm up again', he said. Well, and that tasted heavenly so after a while…raising a glass gradually became a habit again. In retrospect I was happy with this long alcohol stop, because taking care of two little ones with housekeeping and work already requires quite a lot of energy, let alone pouring some wine into it every day. Then you can completely sweep up young mothers.

The second alcohol stop was one of 100 days, which I didn't keep up completely, but ended up at 95 days. We love the holiday country of France and in 2004, after much deliberation, we took the step to buy a house at a holiday park and then spend every school holiday there. Our neighbors there, a Belgian couple, also liked a pint, so during the Christmas holidays we had a nice drink one evening, resulting in a big hangover the next day. During a walk to tidy up, we met the Belgians and the man said: 'as of 1 January we will stop serving pints for 100 days.' Well, that seemed like a tight plan to us, so grab it and go with that banana. Indeed, after a few weeks you feel the energy returning, sports/sleeping goes better, postponed chores are tackled, no more depressed feelings, no gloomy mornings to recover, no shame if someone told you the night before that 'you better but someone can call to come home', don't be alarmed if your wallet is missing on a hangover morning, etc. On day 95 of the 100 days challenge I spent an evening watching TV to Ilja Gort, who, in a sun-drenched French landscape on a table with a red checkered cloth, drank a glass of wine and ate some cheese. The water literally ran into my mouth so I thought: 'It's been enough, I'll have a nice glass of wine' and added action to the thought. The husband of the Belgian couple had kept up his 100 days nicely, although he got fed up with the waters at every party, he told us later. His wife had already given up after two days…

Several years later I always started the 100 days challenge again in January. Occasionally I managed it, but to my frustration I kept it more not than well full. Please note: after such an alcohol break you should definitely also be careful, because there is a dangerous instinct. After such a non-alcoholic period, there is a tendency to think: 'I've had such a healthy period, now I can drink some extra wine!' And before you know it you're drinking quite a bit. Comparable to every supermarket that welcomes you with the vegetable department and lets you say goodbye at the cake, candy and alcohol department. The underlying idea is the same: after you have put the healthy fruit and vegetables in your cart, you can throw in the unhealthy stuff a little later as a reward.

The question that remained for me was why one person, such as the man of the Belgian couple, did complete the 100-day challenge, but the woman threw in the towel after two days. During my psychology studies I learned that if someone wants to change their behavior it is useful to agree SMART goals in advance, i.e. Specific, Measurable, Acceptable, Realistic and Time-bound. Behavioral change is extremely difficult for many people, because behavioral change also depends on the degree of perseverance that a person has and, moreover, many people have a tendency to overestimate themselves like 'oh, I'll do that' while in practice it can still get dirty. I used to always say small, clear steps to my students to achieve a certain goal because the chance of a success experience is then many times greater because it stimulates the motivation to continue. In short, a SMART goal is: I do not want to drink alcohol (=0 alcoholic drinks=measurable) for a month (= time-bound). For someone with a lot of perseverance, this goal is acceptable (= fair) and realistic (= achievable / do not overestimate yourself). But if you are not blessed with iron discipline, halve the goal so that the chance of success experience is greater and you don't have to put yourself away as a 'loser'. An additional advantage is, if you regularly insert an alcohol stop, that it becomes increasingly easier because practice makes perfect!